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Have you ever asked yourself, “When should I start addressing problematic behavior I see in myself or others in my home?” I know I have! Here are some thoughts for your consideration.
I love to stop and assess: “is this an event, or is this a pattern?” If you miss a day on your workout regimen, or if your child forgets to attend to a responsibility for one day or once in a long while, I PROMISE it is okay to approach this situation using my two best friends, grace and compassion. Meanwhile, if it seems a pattern of problematic behavior is emerging, it may be time to discuss next steps for improving it. The key element here is that often-heard adage on this podcast: get curious, not furious! Don’t guess that your spouse or child (or your own brain) is willfully out to get you by doing things you dislike. Examine the situation and ask questions!
In this episode, I’ll be discussing a good handful of topics revolving around this central idea of event vs. pattern. I’ll touch on the power of creating temporary boundaries of space to keep yourself in the green zone. I’ll give examples of using positive reinforcement for good behavior. And I’ll talk about applied grace and compassion as you do nice things for other people within your four walls. You may be fine with picking up laundry left in the bathroom after a shower, or you may not. (I’m not, and I love my reasons for enforcing that boundary.) You may be fine with making lunches for your older kids, or you may not. (I still make lunches for Grady in 5th grade, and I love my reasons for doing so.)
Remember that we don’t like to be controlled, nor do other people! Ultimately, the only thing over which you have absolute control is your own behavior. You can’t bend the actions of your spouse, your kids, your mother-in-law, nor anybody else to your will! Take care that you act accordingly.
Remember: you’ve got this!
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