This week, I’ll be drawing on the lesson that changed the trajectory of my life.
Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children is a must-read for a parent attempting to make the journey into a conscious, healthy parenting style. Several years ago I was doing my workout and listening to the audiobook, and this quote hit me so hard that I almost dropped my dumbells!
Dr. Tsabary says: “When you parent, it’s crucial you realize you aren’t raising a “mini me,” but a spirit throbbing with its own signature. For this reason, it’s important to separate who you are from who each of your children is.” DROP. THE. MIC. What a powerful sentiment, and what incredible wisdom!
This was the light switch that had to flip in my mind for me to “get” why I was butting heads with my kids, especially my daughter. My relationship with my daughter was, and is, nothing like my relationship with my mother. And it’s not supposed to be either! You’re not raising a clone, you’re raising a child — and your child is going to be different from you in an uncountable number of ways.
Rising to the challenge of accepting life as-is will reward you in ways you can scarcely imagine. The sooner you can accept the reality that your child is not (and is not meant to be) a clone of you, the sooner you can STOP trying, whether consciously or unconsciously, to recreate the parent-child dynamic you experienced as a child — AND the sooner you can move forward to a healthy relationship with your child. And that is worth all the time and effort you invest to achieve it. You’ve got this!
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