I assure you, though it may seem like I’ve gone crazy with these episode titles, I haven’t gone crazy! Let me explain how people are like bananas.
In my household, we (and by we I mean Lily and Grady) have a rapidly-changing palette for snack foods, and what they like comes in funny little waves. One phase was vegetable straws; I bought a massive pack of 50 bags of veggie straws, and then just a couple days later they said “nah, we’re good.” Another was bananas — and, getting wise to the cyclical nature of what tickles their fancy, I decided to research how to keep bananas fresh longer.
I was surprised to find that you can substantially prolong the life of your bananas by separating them and wrapping their stems (which secrete chemicals that hasten ripening) in plastic wrap. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized this is like the parenting policy David and I have adopted. We keep our “bananas” (our family) in one place, but they are all separate entities who grow at their own pace.
Relinquishing control is, ironically, the best way to feel more in control. By allowing our children to grow on their own and exercise free will as much as reasonably possible, we can undo generational patterns of codependency, enmeshment, emotional incest, narcissism, and so on. As you allow your “bananas” to “be separate together,” you will find greater emotional stability in your family unit. You’ve got this!
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