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Last week, we talked about how other people’s opinions of you are basically always their opinions about themselves, projected onto you. This episode is the natural follow-up to that one. We all know at least one “people-pleaser” in our life: somebody who’s spread themselves just a little too thin between work, their kids’ extracurricular activities, the PTA, their church and community groups, and so on. Maybe YOU’RE the people-pleaser in your circle.
The condition of people-pleasing is a result of seeking substantial emotional connections unmet in childhood. It’s natural, just like the brain’s threefold tendency to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and maximize its efficiency in doing so. It doesn’t mean that you’re irreparably broken or a bad person. What it does mean is that you have a special opportunity to learn to internalize your self-worth and set boundaries so you are giving the people closest to you the BEST of you instead of the REST of you.
In this episode, I’ll talk about meaningful steps you can take to break yourself of people-pleasing and codependent attachment, and (perhaps more importantly) I’ll talk about modeling healthy emotional behavior for your children so they can have what you might not have had.
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